Vast Active Library and Information Science blog. From a recent library science graduate in Wellington, New Zealand. A focus on reference and current awareness tools and issues, especially free, web-based resources.

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Monday, June 23, 2003
(personal) Only way is up - relatively  
It's not been a good weekend. I don't want this blog turning into 'how depressed I am and why everyone should feel sorry for me', but that's how it's been. Didn't manage to get out of bed until 2.30 yesterday (and I was in bed by about 11.30 on Saturday night). It felt like there was a weight pushing down on me, and it would have taken energy I didn't possess just to sit up. When I considered that I couldn't see any valid purpose in getting out of bed anyway, it just seemed easier to lie there in the warmth with my copy of Hemingway's Fiesta (not up to the standard of For Whom the Bell Tolls). Saturday had been OK, but there was still the struggle to motivate myself to do basically anything.

At least this has a name (thanks to Prozac Nation): atypical depression, the sort of low-grade depression that never seems to go away, that leads to an emotional flatness, a lack of interest and motivation. Sounds exactly like me. Funny that even though I've taken 4 years of psych I didn't know (or at least remember) that term until I read it in an autobiography.

Today feels slightly better. I managed to get out of bed (an hour or so later than I wanted to) and actually managed to shower and shave and get to work on time. So it could be worse. But I'm really thinking I need to talk to my doctor again.


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